Absurdity from the Town of Pretty

Rippy of Slum

Rippy of Slum

I am sipping rum as I’m write this, and I am as sober as can be even though I am sipping rum as I write this in a motel room where I am now in hiding. And you? You ever do that, you? Ever sip…

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Stick Your Head In…

Stick Your Head In…

WTF, Jonathan! You broke a toe and now all of us who’ve been writing and contributing to the blog, your pals, your partners, we’re expected to just take it on the chin and go down for the count? That’s crazy! That’s worse than crazy! That’s…

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Tough Break for Pretty

Tough Break for Pretty

The oddest misfortune has crippled production of Not Necessarily Pretty—the runaway literary hit originating from right here in The Town of Pretty. On Thanksgiving Eve, amidst the annual gaiety of the “Running of the Turkeys,” our entire team of writers and editors stubbed and broke…

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Hotcakes and Ice

Hotcakes and Ice

My secret to staying slim (and therefore sexually promiscuous) whilst I visited the UK? Easy: purging in the loo!  (Here in Pity, they call it chunkin’ up the shitter.) British English is so much more swanky.

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Without a ‘G’ or Wings

Without a ‘G’ or Wings

Hello Mr. and Mrs. Internet! Nat Krumbloom here to remind you that NONE OF ANYTHING IS TRUE! Whatever they tell you, wherever you learn it, however it’s sliced, it’s all baloney. The shape of the Earth, the value of a penny, evolution, orgasms, creationism, the…

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Pregnant Pause

Pregnant Pause

Daphne Baba Willis rests in bed at Pretty General Hospital and Veterinary Clinic, LLC. We’re in Maternity Ward A. That’s the one without hay on the floor. Daphne has been in labor for nineteen hours. I’ve been at her side every minute, except when I…

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